The Shaw studio would have been celebrating your 82nd birthday today -
Perhaps all of us “Doc-lings” hiding in the MU 212 studio with a surprise for you after studio class
Balloons, cake, snacks, flowers, an orchid plant, and the usual tradition of the signed birthday card -
And, of course, the birthday song that starts with an ascending dominant seventh cue,
in classic Doc fashion.
You would always smile and cheer on when we surprised you on this day,
But you probably knew from the get-go that we had the surprise planned all along.
Two and a half years since your passing,
I have kept my emotions mostly to myself throughout,
a way to avoid the truth that I can never speak, send you multiple emails, or call you again.
The feeling of lost was real, especially being the youngest of your doctoral cohort.
Doc, I surely was not the easiest student you had expected -
We saw eye to eye on a number of things: our love for Schumann and Scriabin (then Liszt, which you successfully converted me after), complaints about the insane cold temperatures of MA 405, and agreeing that the gender neutral private bathroom next to your studio was the best one in the whole school, and others I shall refrain from elaborating here…
We also, on occasion, had disagreements, as I was a little rebel among my studio peers;
You would often question my choices and I will then counter with my thoughts and opinions, sometimes finishing off with smiles of affirmation or me balling with tears - all which have shaped me to who I am as a person and musician today.
Nonetheless, all you hoped for was to see me finish the degree from day one I entered your studio,
and I finally did it.
You were a tour de force since the day I proudly called you my teacher, my mentor,
and although you are no longer here with us, I believe your spirit and tenacity lives on -
A glass of wine with an ice-cube,
Here’s to you, Doc!
With love,
J